a little backed up

analogy of constipated pooping and avalanching:

the shit is the snow

taking a shit is avalanching
in the shit snow world, there is no summer

sometimes the snow slides down naturally, natural avalanches

but sometimes it builds up, and gets stable, and bigger and bigger, but that's no good, cuz no summer means it will eventually slide, and when it does it will tear up trees and stuff
so, gotta be the ski patrol, and knock it down occasionally
but, as the thing about snow is, there's times when it's stable and times when it's not and trigger points etc., so gotta monitor the shit snow and when it's ripe knock it down

USDWSWDW: US Department of What Should We Do and Why

do we need to build more space shuttles?  mars mission? work less hours?  spend less on cell phones? etc.  right now that's decided by a weird mix of public opinion, corporate interests, talk radio, politicians, political battles, etc.  we need a federal department to do what the philosopher kings in plato republic were gonna do.  well, but not like they're in charge, they just make recommendations or whatever, think tank, only instead of one it's like a whole department, and here's the key, they have a marketing section to convince everyone their idea is the way.  the Way.  so two jobs, find the Way and sell the Way.  they're kinda the same thing though, cuz ideas like "we need to cull 1/3 of the humans on earth" are never gonna fly cuz no one will agree even if it's the "best" idea (it's not the best cuz it's not gonna fly).  similarly deciding to make usa communist isn't gonna fly either, revolution isn't gonna come from a federal department.  so, this isn't going to change things much, it's just going to put money into thinking more critically as a nation/species.

Oberst, Your Response to Rape Accusations was a Real Disappointment

Dear Conner,

     We were sad to hear you were accused of raping a 16 year old, back in the Lifted days.  Since the accusation came through anonymous website comments, you could have just ignored it.   However, since the posts generated a moderate sized internet storm of speculation, opinion, and witch hunting, you or your keepers opted to issue a statement, which reads:

"Usually we wouldn't feel the urge to comment on spurious blog chatter but the recent allegations made about Conor Oberst by an anonymous commenter on the xoJane website are flagrant enough to demand our response. This individual's accusations are absolutely, unequivocally false. Unfortunately, the internet allows for groundless statements like this to travel the world before the truth has any time to surface. This is a particularly serious and sickening allegation and there is no truth to it. Conor has nothing but abhorrence for the perpetrators of crimes of sexual violence. The behavior attributed to him by this individual is in direct opposition to his principles. Conor is consulting with a libel attorney regarding this matter.
There will be no further comment at this time."

Regardless of the accusation's merit, this is a disappointing response for a number of reasons.  Not only does it do little to convince us fans of your innocence, it belies a loss of integrity, and perhaps misses a chance to combat rape instead of simply deflecting criticism.

      First and foremost, threatening legal action is hawkish bullcrap.  Is this supposed to help convince us of your innocence?  Because it makes it seem like you just want to protect your brand.  "Don't talk shit about me or I'll SUE," is something we said on the playground when we were 8.  What happened to the Conner who turned down record label Big Money to keep Bright Eyes pure?  On these lines, responding through a publicist is kinda tacky.  Again, it makes it seem like the response is about protecting your image, not about truth or honestly responding to an accuser.

     Speaking of truth, adamantly denying the accusation does not help us know the truth.  It's not possible for us to know the truth, we can only speculate.  What we do know is that you are a rock star, and you frequently drank to excess.  One might ask, given those two facts, is it even possible for you yourself to know the truth on this matter?  Regardless of what did or did not happen, you can see why a simple denial is fairly meaningless.

    Again I don't think a response was necessary, but here's a response I would have liked better.  "I was troubled to hear someone allege that I pushed myself upon them against their wishes.  I am repulsed by the idea, and do not believe it to be true.  However, I did get drunk and have casual sex quite a bit at that time.  It could be possible I crossed a line and didn't realize it.  If I did I am truly sorry."  Obviously such a response would open you to some not insignificant consequences, even if you are in fact innocent.  But it would also exemplify the type of integrity we had come to adore you for, and possibly pave the way for a safer world.

     See, rape is not simply the purview of deranged or hateful individuals.  It can happen when otherwise decent human beings forget what it takes to be decent.  Especially when alcohol and power are involved (power such as that that comes from being a rock star), it takes real effort above and beyond being "nice" or "a good guy" to make sure you're treating your fellow humans decently.  If you had used this as an opportunity to share that lesson, it would have made it truly apparent that the act was in "opposition to your principles."

Sincerely yours,

Jonny

Adam PUNCH Sandler Drunk, Love for

The 90s in midwestern america, teenage boys setting themselves apart from their molds.  Billy madison and happy gilmore were perfect avenues to revel in taboo.  Sandler's devil-may-care, lack of the tiniest shred of concern for parental type authority, perfect.  Critical to the character was his disregard for protocol, quickness to resort to violence, his lack of concern for the concequences imposed by others, and freedom from care about others opinions or scorn.
   This fundemental character of our youth we were happily hoping ot see return and grow with us.  Water boy promised to be the next installment.  With the premise built around the opressed (bullied teen-type) finding his "fuck it" and blasting out with violent enthusiasm, it appeared to be not only embracing the character but fledging him in the best way.  But it was a lie.  As the film played, the promise of the catharsis was there, but the goods were never delivered.  to the end the water boy remained a snivling weak willed coward, crushable by an unkind word.  His hidden strength was never his, only a cute trick.
   Betrayed but not yet unmade, we went to the next installment, and the next.  Big Daddy.  The wedding singer.  Little nicki.  Certainly no grand departures from the original landmards, but still completely lacking the key compelling element. 
  By the time Barry Egan was introduced we knew him all too well.  A coward, with rage yes, but fizzling, within family set expectations and bounds, impotent.  So sandler was to play in a drama, it seemed to fit fine, since slapstick was hardly filling our need.  But then it happened.  The pieces of a film coalesced and built to a scene that we had been waiting for since 1998.  The snap that we had been wishing for for scene after scene in movie after movie happened and WHAM the crowbar hit the stomach.

Sandler has never been a great comic, actor, movie maker.  He has been horrible at times (that's my boy).  But in that moment a hero from our youth looked us in the eyes and said "I will never forget you."  Thank you, goodnight.

"Baby it's Cold Outside" is a bit too date-rapey

It's Christmas music season again.  Perhaps a lot if it simply incessant droning but if you pay attention you'll hear among the shopping and festivity themes there's scenes of behavior on cold winter nights.  Naturally romance would be a choice for a song, but does it have to be so centered on the girl says no boy says yes theme?  Complete with "what's in this drink?"  It makes me uncomfortable.

rant vent whatever fuck you

fuck me, I got to design a new primer cuz the last ones weren't working, and i'm a dumbshit and instead of writing down the formula i used a dumb little website to do it. it was easier! (dumbass) but now i got to use the website and its gone. some company bought some other company and redesigned the site and now my tm calculator is gone. web.archive.org/ doesn't work cuz the java thing or whatever was only partially on the page, somehow they actually had you send them your primer length or something? i dunno its gay. i mean lame. i mean fail. whatever fuck you
[edit: i've regretted making homophobic "jokes" on here for a while, but i'm gonna leave them: gotta live with my shame.  same for "retarded" below]

then after my website is gone, i go to order and ok so they've made us change how we order for some retarded reason. it's like 5 times more work and makes it impossible to do some things we did before, but the purchasing people are assholes so we have to whatever
anyway, the new way involves using a purchasing system called EPIC. which was never invovled before. and its gay. did i mention that? and now i go to order my primer and i get "epic is down each night from 8-9:30pm" what the fuck. eat shit assholes. take it down at 4am, what the shit kind of time to take it down is that? oh, it's probably something archaic like someone downloading the day's orders by hands the shit ass mother fuckers

is it 9:30 yet? almost. fuck shits.

Evidence, Peer Reviewed, Anecdote, Statistically Significant

hmmm, i guess i was gonna post about how people go too far in wanting evidence to support a claim. i was more worked up about it whenever i saved this title, but not worked up enough to post. and even less worked up now, so here is a non post. (actually posted 5-2-10, i guess i started it 4-10-10)